Thank You Impatient Beavers
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I am blessed by having some bitchy ass friends.
I know, what a filthy thing to say, but please hear me out.
In a place in my life when I felt crippled, overwhelmed and helpless my friends
came to my aid. Not in the way you might think.
They didn't bring casseroles. They didn't send flowers.
They didn't say "There, there now".
When I would launch in to my rant, or my totally justified pity party, Jeans would
respond like a broken record, gently saying
"Oh dear, well what different choices could you make?"
"Perhaps you could make some different choices if you don't
like how things are". "
I bet there are some different choices you can make".
"Hmmm what different choices you could you make?"
Sometimes she would say "I know you really need to vent, so I will set an egg
timer for two minutes, and you can say everything you want to say about the
situation, and then we will change the subject." OUTRAGEOUS!
She would say "Ok - Go!" I would blast off in a tirade using the filthiest, most
descriptive words I could. Ding. "Ok" she says,
"So what are you making for dinner tonight? How are the boys?
Did you see that article in the paper....." End of discussion. Sometimes I
secretly wonder if she even listened to my rants,
or did she just put the phone down for two minutes and pick it back up when the
timer went off.
On and on just like that, Jeans set these outrageous boundries around my
bitching. I really got quite sick of it, so I would hang up and call my old friend
Annie in NYC. Now, something you should know about Annie, she is one of the
most smartest, kindest and determined women that I have ever known or even
If anyone could understand my plight it would be Annie. I call, and Anne would
just interrupt and say "So get off your ass and do something about it." She
wouldn't even listen.
Now, I like to think that my dear friends, in their wisdom and grace, were leading
me to be my highest and best self. In reality, they were probably just sick of
hearing me bitching.
Either way the results are the same.
Over a period of time, not being allowed to use my thoughts and words to just
vent without thought to possible resolution and actions made me change. It
made my life change. It changed the life of my family and every one else whose
life I touched. It forced me to become a solution oriented person. As you know,
it all began with thoughts. Retraining my brain to give up on feeling helpless or
hopeless, and only seeing what is possible. What positive affects
I could make on the world around me, and that has made all the difference.
I hope you have some wonderful bitches in your life too that demand you
become your highest and best self. If not, allow me.
Don't allow any word of complaint to come out of your mouth unless there is a
solution tied to it. Or at least the possibility of solution to it. Pose your bitching
as a question: "What can we do to make this better?" You and your friends are
as smart as anyone else in the world. Together, you will find a way to make
things better. Even the things that seem impossible become possible when you
train your mind to look for what is possible rather than just look at things as bad
situations forced upon you. Honestly, this really works. You will also find that it
spreads in wonderful ways that you can't even imagine yet.
Becoming your highest and best self is not just your birthright, it is an obligation.
You were put here on this earth endowed with a special blend of gifts and talents
that no one else has. Use it, and use it wisely. Don't waste a moment that has
been given to you.
It's your turn.
You be the light.
Copyright February 2007 Heather Maier
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|A friend is one who knows us,
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~Fr. Jerome Cummings